Ipod Found

I found my ipod! Thank Allah and Jesus. Or whom ever I should thank...
I am back in the saddle of things, kind of. Not totally, I still dread seeing Brad walking down the hall because I said I'd talk to him, but I have no clue what to say to him. This past week was like a low-budget soap opera.
I bought two new movies this holiday, I bought Babel and Crash. Two very similar movies which both make me ball like a little girl! The messages are just so blunt and thought provoking, although in different ways. I love movies, so much! It's almost sad how much I love movies! That is almost the number one reason it wouldn't have worked with Brad, he A) has shitty movie taste and B) has a very uneducated view on movies and the industry, so I definitely could not have a meaningful conversation with him about a movie we would have just watched. That may sound shallow, and I know people say opposites attract, and maybe so, but in this case, those opposites only attracted for a week! It's kind of sad that I haven't been in an actual relationship, I mean I know its not the be all and end all of the world, and I have so much life to go and will be in relationships, but this is sad because I have been "with" guys but they were never committed, or in this case with Brad, I couldn't commit.
Ah! Lauren, stop talking about that! Talk about something with some substance! But unfortunately that's the only thing filling my head right now, and probably will be for atleast 3 more days.
I will write when I have something iteresting to say.
- Lauren

No more Break

March Break. It's a nice thought, if time stood still. Time makes no sense, who's idea was it to invent this device? Not invent, but make labels on time.

Chronophobia: the fear of time. 

Some people have, and yes, phobia, by definition means "irrational", this fear of time. I don't have this fear/phobia, but I think it is quite relevant because time is never stopping. Every click of tat second hand and your time is coming closer and closer. This blog is not meant to freak you out, nor upset the reader, but I just want to make this known. 

So with all that said, this march break went SO FAST. Not to mention I pretty much wasted all the time on the computer with stupid Brad and now I feel useless because of this thing we call a computer. When someone asks me what I did, all I'll have to say is "um, went to TO and um...spent alot of time on the net..." 

And worst of all, I didn't get to see any of my friends this holiday! Yes, I did see you Susan, but I didn't see any of my friends who are closer in my age, not that age matters, you know what I'm saying. Anyway, tonight there is a huge party going on and of course, once again I am not there. Not that I would be necessarily going, I actually wouldn't be. The fact of the matter is that I am never invited to anything worth going to. AHHH. This blog is to vent...so here we go:

VENTINGVENTINGVENTINGVENTING vent vent vent VENT VENT VENT!!!!!!!!!

good for now,

lauren

Good One

Bradley Ying. Saad Kazi.

These are two boys who are liars. I wish I didn't have to say that, well I guess I don't HAVE to, but I feel I owe it to them to say something like that. Firstly we have young Saad, who actually was such a goddamn cad and a liar to my face. Brad is too. He doesn't have any idea I'm on to him...

Some things, some things, why would he say them? I don't get him. A) he says he actually "kinda doesn't like me"  B) he tells a friend he's "seeing" someone else C) he's racist towards white people...the list continues. I am just tired of this. I know I am young, and I have the rest of my life to be with someone, but the truth of the matter is that I enjoy being liked. I really, truly do. I'm tired of them though. I want to have things in common with them, laugh at the same things, agree about things and joke. There is someone I am liking, but of course he lives about a hour and a half away...as usual the one I was in unattainable. How frustrating? And I also have how I am BLOGGING about this, like anyone cares...not like anyone will read it. Ah well. 

I'll keep my head up and be smart about all of this. I am smart. I am a catch...someone just needs to realize it!

You, Over There

AHHHHH. I have not blogged in quite a long while. Lots has been hitting the fan, and somethings have good alright. Lots of boy troubles, some life troubles and so good things, like Bryan moving to BC. That's always nice. So recently i started talking to Brad, my old grade 6 date. Haha, grade 6...how cute, I know. He was looking good these days, and so therefore I made friendly banter and found out he was very in touch with his "Chinese-ness" and Buddhism, which really caught my attention. Last Friday, it was a beautiful day and I decided a walk was in order, I was talking to Brad on the net and so I invited him for a walk. We met up, we talked (although he isn't the talker) and he walked me home. That night was semi, and he had planned on going with someone, but turns out he didn't know somethings about him which...were important. But he came anyway! We had made plans already to hang out on Sat. and so we did that. It was fun, he gave me a cool Chinese statue and such. So the short and short of this is, he likes/liked me. I am not clear, but we spent a lot of this passed week together. He sends a lot of mixed messages, its all so messed, he's messing with me. BAH.  He's sort of a jerk, and I feel really nervous around him, I know it's not an ideal feeling, but I get drawn to people like that for some odd reason...

Advice...